The responses on my
yesterday’s blog were sweet and encouraging again. Not only yesterday but
mostly. Honestly, I don’t feel down-hearted about the project of moving houses despite
some tears now and then, however it’s heartening to receive so much empathy. In
fact the challenging aspect of the whole thing is also positively exciting. I mean,
planning, executing and making ad hoc decisions is something I’m apparently
doing pretty okay. Although, there still remains an aspect in it that makes me
want to do it my way and perhaps that’s why it took me 40 days. The fact is
that letting go of my first own home, however rented it was the first in my
name solely, means much to me. This house sheltered me for 8 years and 8 months
and the idea that I’m not allowed to go in it anymore after handing in the keys
Monday morning, that’s what made me a little tearful. And still does when I’m
taking time to think about it. I’m sure that there will be some more tears
before I drive off there for the last time.
Okay, I’m not the
gypsy kind of type I used to think I was. And probably I’m sentimental.
However, no matter how many memories you can carry with you in your life, for
me it’s the real touchable thing what I fear to miss. Like when my dad died. I
can think of him as much as I want but I can never ever talk with him again
anymore.
There are many wise
things said about feelings like this. All meant to be helpful with coping with
the more difficult parts of life. I want to add something helpful to it:
Recognize, acknowledge and accept what you feel so it won’t take you by
surprise unexpectedly. Never again is a very long time after all.
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