Born to be alive

Photographed by Lida Chaulet

She was not breathing when the doctor put her tiny, warm body on my belly. Although I felt so relieved that the labor pains were finally over I could not feel really happy yet. Almost panicking I could not quite understand why the doctor did not do anything to help her. I knew that newborns do not need to breathe right away as long as they were still attached at the umbilical cord but that has been cut already. I had dreaded to go to this hospital to give birth because both my grandparents had died here. The first child was born at home, the second in another hospital, closer to my home. But due to complications I had no other option than going here. The labor was induced, four weeks before I was due to deliver. The pregnancy was peaceful at first until the doctor called to tell that the blood sample was indicating that troubles were expected. Regular punctures and blood tests had to be done and soon it was clear that the delivery could not wait until the end. The seriousness about it was freaking me out. I was terribly nervous when the time had come to go to the hospital. Only a few days before I was knocked out with a nasty stomach flu and I still felt very weak. The choice of this hospital had made me very superstitious and I was afraid to die there too. The infusion did not do very much until the membranes were cut. Then the pain had washed over me like hell. I was so tensed that I thought I would never manage to give birth but you cannot withhold such nature force, of course. But soon after I did it, I was so afraid that she did not survive all the stress. Silently I begged her to take a breath. Almost hesitantly I said that I was worried that she was not yet breathing. At last he took her over from me and disappeared in another room. What seem to be ages was actually a couple of minutes before he handed her over to me again, this time breathing on her own. My third child, a beautiful girl. After the normal routine we could hold her a little while before she had to be brought to the baby unit. She had to stay at least one night because they expected troubles with her blood but I had to go home. This was the strangest feeling ever, to go home with an empty belly and a Polaroid picture of my baby ‘as proof’ for her little brother and sister. The next morning they called us that everything was alright and we could come to pick her up. As soon as I entered the room where we had left her the day before my heart missed a few beats when I saw her incubator was empty. Rather panicked I scanned the room before a nurse pointed to a crib where she was. I picked her up and held her close to me, happy tears running down my face. I will never forget the way she sniffed my face like a little animal, as if to be reassured that I was really her mother. 

My little girl grew up to be a beautiful young woman. A very clever, pretty girl she is. Sometimes very serious about difficult issues and most of the time just a sweet and happy child who loves to think deep. As soon as she went to high school she loved the lessons of religious studies and social science the most. She was very much interested in Buddhism and for a short period of time she was a devoted vegetarian. She loves to read and that was what she does a lot. You could always find her reading a book. Harry Potter, Narnia but also more ‘heavy stuff’. She loved to read hanging almost upside down in the big chair. When she had to go to the bathroom then she often could not stop reading and walked, mesmerized by the story she was reading, with her book in front of her eyes to the bathroom. Wherever we went, she took a book with her. She participated in model United Nations conferences at her own school and other regional schools. She was the winner of an annual national speaking competition and her English is fluent. But most of all she was a strong willed adolescent who knew already what her mission in life was. To make a difference. Although her dreams about her future career varied a little over time, at first she wanted to become a reporter in war-zones, then she wanted to work for the UN, and now it is “something” for NGOs, the direction was stable anyway. That is why she chose her present university study: Liberal Arts and Science. The main subjects she is studying are Political history, International relations  and Conflict studies. 

A few days ago she entered a contest on Facebook from the Dutch ministry of Foreign affairs. The contestants have to make their point about UN related topics and the first prize is to join the delegates to the UN-Top coming September as a young reporter. The first statement she made was of comparing ice-cream consumption in the Netherlands against starvation in the Sahel. She did that with an unusual (sexy) picture of a girl holding a melting ice-cream. With votes from friends and relatives she soon became second in the race. Last night she made clear her second statement with a picture of an empty toilet-roll, to compare sanitary facilities in Western countries against places in the World where people lack any sanitary facility. She said she wants to postpone writing a bigger article because she does not want to make people go bored with the subject yet, because she is allowed to make four statements in this first round. I cannot wait to see her next statements. If you feel the same, she will be thankful for your votes here: https://www.facebook.com/NederlandendeVN/app_301201333298390?app_data=/inzendingen/ronde1/samantha-maat-afbeelding-1340487272/